Releasing

Dear Guides & God, the Almighty Great One,

I have but so much to give today….

I feel like I’m going through…

A Renaissance of the Soul?

A liberation from unconceived perceived and believed chains of fear and insecurity?

I was working on an inspirational speech for a personal project I’m working on called the “Be Brave for Brad Campaign” in honor of my beloved cousin Brad who passed away at the age of 40 from liver and colon cancer and I just broke out into tears imagining the Doctor’s picking at him and prodding at him and slicing him open time and time again on the operating table in efforts to save his life. Today feels raw, I’ve felt like this since yesterday. Like I woke up and someone swiftly ripped the band aid off from my heavily infected wound (S). Yes, that is S is on purpose and wounds is plural....It stings God, oh how it stings.

My Dear Readers,

Have you ever wondered to yourself, why?

Why, God, Why?

Why this person who was so kind and gentle?

Why this person who played by the book and did everything right?

Oh God, why? Why did it happen to be him?

That’s where I found myself yesterday and where I find myself this beautiful a.m. in a space of complete release of that which I had been holding onto for all of this time.

I found myself releasing, releasing and releasing some more. The layers of the skin shed off from my outer being like the wool of 1000 sheep falling ever so gently to the ground as it’s removed only to be transformed into clothes, bedding or whatever else that is oh so warm and snuggly 😊

Then, it got me thinking…

What if people, places things, circumstances, etc. are removed from our life FOR US because we just didn’t have it IN US, we just didn’t have the strength to do it ourselves? Often times when we lose someone that we love, we fill our days with the “busyness” of life in so that we can numb the pain that writhes inside of us.

The grief of losing our loved one can get stuffed way back there, in that tiny black titanium box in that back hidden corner of our hearts.

We become so good at hiding it that we ourselves go about our lives almost forgetting about this heavy weight that we are carrying around with us to each new place we go and with every single human interaction we have.

Did you ever think that perhaps something like LOSING A JOB is done FOR YOU so that you can now heal the wounds of the past, heal that which ails you and so that you can heal your ever so broken heart.

So that, in essence, it can heal the river that flows within you AMY.

So that you have time and space to come down off from your high rocker, so that you have space to dis-associate yourself from that which kept you “busy” for so long, so that you have space and time to just BE?

AMY, when you are in a state of silence, of pure interruption, your pain comes to the forefront. That which you’ve been hiding through food, through addictions and through AGAIN, the “BUSYNESS” of life, that burden that you’ve been carrying around with you like permanent luggage, it comes directly to the forefront.

Smack, dab right there in front of you, now that you’ve created sacred space, it comes forward and it unlocks itself and it bows and beholds itself unto you and for you so that you may see its’ authenticity, so that you may shed light on that part of your heart that is hardened and black with sorrow and grief.

In the dark knight of the soul, comes the resurrection, AMY, the rebirth – An internal transformation of the soul. If we can weave cotton on a luminous loom and transform its’ function, then why can we not weave and transform this pain that you hold so deeply inside of your soul? Perhaps, that is the key my child, to acknowledge your pain and your heavily laden sorrow, to provide it space and room to finally breathe so that your body may purge of it ever so naturally and so that the universe can then transform your pain into fuel for your passions, into INSPIRATION FOR OTHERS.

We all walk around on this earth carrying this façade of who we are, hiding our truest of truest selves from the world.

BUT, we’ve got but an ingenious idea.

What if that is precisely your sweet spot AMY? Inspiring others by having the courage to bare your soul. By being you. By being open and honest, your business will thrive as you peel off the layers of your onion and as tears fall from your face as you release the angst that dwells inside of you. As you are stripped of that which you knew, you are creating room for that which you know not yet. You are creating room for miracles my dear child.

Lovingly,

“The Chai”